spoof text

Spoof Text: Chicken For Dinner
Senin, 04 Januari 2010

A landowner from Seoul went to visit his farmer in the countryside and was treated to a grand dinner of boiled chicken. In the course of the meal, the farmer’s youngest son ran in, shouting, “There it is! He’s eating the dead chicken.” The landowner thought that he had been served a long dead chicken.

So he put down his chopsticks and told the servant to clear the table, politely saying, “This is enough for me. My stomach can’t take any more food.” Just then, the boy started eating the chicken’s leg greedily saying at the same time, “Oh, this is really delicious.” “Why are you eating the dead chicken?” asked the surprised landowner “Who eats live chicken?” replied the boy

Spoof Text: A Small Experiment
Minggu, 03 Januari 2010

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response.
So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.
Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again he gets no response.
So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again there is no response.


So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”
“Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!”




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Abu Nawas and the King Aaron

The king wanted to test Abu Nawas’ smartness. So he invited Abu Nawas to the palace. “You want me, your Majesty?” greeted Abu Nawas. “Yes, you have fooled me three times and that’s too much. I want you to leave the country. Otherwise you will have to go to jail” said the king. “If that is what you want, I will do what you said” said Abu Nawas sadly. Then “Remember, from tomorrow you may not step on the ground of this country anymore” the king said seriously. Then Abu nawas left the king palace sadly.
The following morning the king ordered his two guards to go to Abu Nawas’ house. The guards were very surprised found Abu Nawas still in his house. He had not left the country yet. Instead leaving the country, Abu Nawas was swimming in small pool in front of his house. “Hey Abu Nawas, why haven’t you left this country yet? The king ordered you not to step on the ground of this country anymore, didn’t he?” said the guards. “Sure he did” answered Abu Nawas calmly. “But look at me! Do I step on the ground of this country? No, I do not step on the ground. I am swimming on the water” continued Abu Nawas.
The guards were not able to argue with Abu Nawas so they left Abu Nawas’ house and went back to the palace. The guards reported what they had seen to the king. The king was curious on Abu Nawas’ excuse not to leave the country. Therefore the king ordered his guard to call Abu Nawas to come to the palace.
Abu Nawas came to the palace on stilts. The king wondered and said “Abu, I will surely punish you because you haven’t done what I have said. You have not left this country”. The King continued “And now, look at you. You walk on stilts like a child. Are you crazy? The king pretended to be furious.
“I remember exactly what you said, Your Majesty” Abu Nawas answered calmly. “This morning I took a bath in the small pool in my house so that I had not to step on the ground. And since yesterday, I have been walking on this stilts. So you see, Your Majesty, I do not step on the ground of this country”. The king was not able to say anything.


Nasreddin’s Coat

One day Nasreddin had been invited to the dinner party. He went to the party by wearing old clothes.
When he arrived in the party, nobody looked at him and nobody gave him a seat. He got no food in the party so he went home and change his clothes
Next he put on his best clothes. He wore his newest coat and went to the party again. The host at once got up and came to meet him. The host offered him the best table and gave him a good seat and served him the best food
Nasreddin sat and put off his coat. He put his coat and said; “Eat the food, Coat!” the hosts and guests were very surprised and asked Nareddin; “What are doing?” Nasreddin replied calmly; “When I came here with my old clothes, nobody looked at me. Then I went home and put on my best clothes. I came back in my newest coat and you all give me this best food and drink. So, you give food to my coat instead of me”. Getting Nasreddin's answer, they just shook the head.



Hortatory Exposition text:

Global Warming
Thesis
: Global warming is a complex phenomenon,
and its full-scale impacts are hard to predict far in advance. But each year
people learn more about what causes global warming.
Argument 1
: People argue that vehicles and industries pollution
make global warming happen. We know that emission gas of industries
and vehicles cause increasing of carbon dioxide and air vapor in
atmosphere which makes world temperature hotter, called greenhouse
effect.
Argument 2
: Illegal logging is one of causes global warming. For
example, in our country, Indonesia, illegal logging is most popular
activity. Many people, government or commoners like do it. Ironic, they
know, if they cut trees more and more, temperature of world will
increase. Consequently, Earth to be hotter. But no one care with this
problem.
Argument 3
: Using electricity much more, cause temperature of
earth warm up. In common, people produce energy with fossil power that
makes carbon dioxide in atmosphere increase.
Recommendation: Finally, I think that people must be more care about
this phenomenon. Some activity can us do to reduce effect of global
warming. Among these:
•Modernize power plants and generate electricity from nonpolluting
sources
•Cut our electricity use through energy efficiency
•Using car that run cleaner and burn less gas


A. Watch your Kids While Watching TV

Television becomes one of the most important devices which takes place in almost houses. It can unite all members of the family as well as separate them. However, is it important to know what your kids are watching? The answer is, of course, absolutely “Yes” and that should be done by all parents. Television can expose things you have tried to protect the children from, especially violence, pornography, consumerism and so on.
Recently, a study demonstrated that spending too much time on watching TV during the day or at bedtime often cause bed-time disruption, stress, and short sleep duration.
Another research found that there is a significant relationship between the amount of time spent for watching television during adolescence and early adulthood, and the possibility of being aggressive.
Meanwhile, many studies have identified a relationship between kids who watch TV a lot and being inactive and overweight.
Considering some facts mentioning above, protect your children with the following tips:
• Limit television viewing to one-two hours each day
• Do not allow your children to have a TV set in their own bedrooms
• Review the rating of TV shows which your children watch
Watch television with your children and discuss what is happening in the show